Jerrie's Easter

 

Happy Easter Mother

 

What is Compassion? Are we all able to give compassion?

Three Powerful Habits of Highly Compassionate People

What does success have to do with being a compassionate person? The answer is a lot. When you think of someone who is compassionate, do you associate it with someone who has a martyr/victim personality? Most folks associate compassionate people as soft or weak.

However, compassionate people have an amazing superpower – they know how to use compassion as a strength and not a weakness. Here are a few habits of highly compassionate people. 

They do not Take Things Personally

People who emulate compassion both to themselves and for others, have learned the art of not taking things personally. They know when a mistake happens, that is simply a fact – a mistake happened. They do not focus on how much of a failure they are, how stupid they feel. They simply focus on the problem and do not internalize it as being about themselves. This allows them to take the next step. 

The Move Forward Quickly and Rebound

Since compassionate people practice self-compassion as well as compassion for others, they can move forward quickly. They do not make the problem, mistake, or situation about them. 

There is less ruminating, worrying, and talking about problems. There is more of a focus on moving forward and coming up with creative solutions. 

They Come up with Solutions to Problems 

Rather than ruminating, compassionate people come up with creative solutions to difficult problems. Compassionate people can feel into what it is like for someone else to experience pain, almost as if they were the ones experiencing it. This offers them an amazing vantage point to problem solving. 

A compassionate person can see and feel into others pain points. This offers them an advantage in helping others solve those problems. This one quality has many benefits:

• In relationships, compassionate people can empathize with others and are better able to problem solve. 
• In business, compassionate people can feel their client’s pain points, communicate with empathy, and help them find creative solutions.
• Socially, compassionate people invite others to be vulnerable due to their trustworthy and empathic qualities.
• Compassionate people have a superpower in being able to listen effectively to what people are saying and even what they are holding back on, as well. 

Compassionate people have an uncanny sense about other people. This enables them to feel, see, and hear what others are experiencing. Compassion is an attractive quality. Compassionate people can draw near to them people who need their gifts, skills, and talents. This gives them an opportunity to not only succeed, but to excel in personal relationships as well as in business settings. 

The personality trait of being compassionate is not one of weakness. It is one of personal strength. Maintaining a balance between compassion and having strong boundaries is a winning combination. 

Where in your life can you find ways to be more compassionate to yourself?

Where in your life can you find ways to be more compassionate to others?

Can You Train Yourself to be More Compassionate?

Have you ever met someone with so much compassion and wondered how you could be more like that? If so, you are not alone. Some people are born with the capacity of being compassionate not only to humans, but to pets, wildlife, and even nature. While compassion is a trait that is both biological and learned from our environment in childhood, there are ways to train yourself to be more compassionate if you wish.

Compassion is a Practice

If being compassionate is a way of being which is unfamiliar to you, it will take some practice. Just as any other new habit you wish to form, it will begin as unfamiliar until you make it more familiar. The brain is a creature of habit and gravitates to what is familiar – whether that is a positive trait or a negative habit. 

Training your brain to be more compassionate is a practice like any new habit you wish to create. Compassion begins with self-compassion. Set an intention to be more self-compassionate and you will be amazed at how much your everyday, ordinary, life improves. Taking on self-compassion lightens the load, makes each day a little brighter, and softens the ups and downs of life. 

Here are some ways to practice self-compassion:

• Talk back to that negative voice in your head; when you have a thought, which is negative about yourself, challenge it. 
• Counteract every negative thought with a positive one. For example, if you find yourself being hard on yourself, remind yourself how you have been through difficulties before and have come out simply fine.
• Compliment yourself on a job well done and let go of guilt for feeling proud and accomplished.
• Give yourself a break every now and again; you do not always have to aim for perfection. Doing your best is what counts.
• Treat yourself to something nice; do something nice for yourself.
• Speak to yourself and treat yourself like you would your best friend

Take the time to practice self-compassion. Once your cup is overflowing, you now have so much more to give. Self-compassion is not selfish, it is necessary so you can give back to others. 

Compassion to Others

• Take time to notice, and even journal, throughout the day each time someone is compassionate to you. Take notes and learn how you can apply those same principles to other people. 
• Join an accountability group to create the new habit of being compassionate to self and others
• Take time throughout your busy day and take a pause – ask yourself, where and how can I show compassion in this situation.
• Instead of reacting to someone else’s negative mood, take a moment to ask them if they are okay. Chances are their negative mindset is really a cry for help, for someone to listen or for someone to simply ask!

Compassion as a Habit

Being aware of where, how, and when you can apply compassion to both self and others is the perfect way to now create compassion as a habit. 

• Practice self-compassion
• Ask where, how, and when you can offer compassion to others
• Notice compassion

Take on these practices and before you know it, compassion will become a natural part of your life. 

You can be compassionate and make others feel good.

Three Myths About Self-Compassion

We hear a lot about self-compassion these days and, for most, the concept is a foreign one. Just a generation or two ago, the mindset was that life was hard, extremely hard, and that was all there was to it. Men worked day and night, women tending to the family and home. Husbands and wives woke up to the sound of the rooster crowing and then went to sleep with the sun setting. They did this day in and day out with little or no time for themselves. 

Myth Number One: Self-compassion is a Fad

Today, however, we are more self-aware than ever. Humanity is more evolved, we are conscious creators of our lives with an eye toward making differences in the lives of others, as well. Self-help and self-improvement have gone from being a luxury to being part of our daily routine. 

One of the biggest myths, however, is viewing self-compassion as a buzz word or a fad. Much work is the field of personal development and psychology is showing the long-term benefits of self-compassion. When we take on the practice of self-compassion there are many benefits, but here are the most important two:

• Being compassionate to ourselves helps us feel better, work better, play better
• Being compassionate to ourselves in life’s daily moments helps us take the burden off expecting others to do it for us 

Myth Number Two: Self-compassion is Selfish

For many people, doing things just for themselves, that make them happy, and that do not include others can feel selfish. This is far from the truth; when we do things for ourselves, we bring joy to ourselves. If you stop to take some time to journal throughout the day how many times you are hard on yourself, you would be surprised. When you take on the practice of self-compassion there are many benefits:

• A more positive, optimistic attitude
• Less bitterness, resentment, and angst
• You are more pleasant to be around and represent a role model for others
• A happier, more empathic mindset means a happier healthier mind, body, spirit

We take the burden off others to always be the ones who need to soothe us, nurture us, and take care of us. We all need others in our lives when life throws us a curve; however, daily, we can practice self-compassion to combat those negative thoughts in our heads. 

We all have an inner critic and when we use the practice of self-compassion to challenge those thoughts, we are all the better for it. 

Myth Number Three: Self-Compassion is only for Spiritual Folks

Self-compassion has nothing to do with being spiritual, religious, or new age. Self-compassion produces results. Imagine being in a meeting or part of a project and something goes awry (as things often do). Taking the time, energy, and most importantly the focus off yourself and onto troubleshooting and problem-solving changes the course of the project. Not only does it change the course, it changes the outcome.

 

Asking the inner critic a few questions helps improve your life:

• Is this helpful?
• Is this inner criticism a fact? Am I a mistake or did I simply make a mistake?
• Where can I learn and grow from this?
• How can I use this to rebound quickly and make a better decision?

As you can see, self-compassion comes from a logical place when we challenge that inner critic.

 

Look and see where you can, in your life, challenge the inner critic, dispel these myths, and make a difference. 

Why Compassion is So Important

We live in such a busy world. Everywhere you go you hear about either being more, doing more, or buying more. With everyone in the family either going to school or working, “busy” is the new normal. Self-care falls by the wayside, spending time with others is minimal at best, and worst of all, compassion becomes a luxury not a necessity. 

The Benefits of Compassion

Compassion boosts your health and well-being. There are many benefits to taking on being compassionate both for yourself and, equally as important, for others:

For Yourself

• You feel good about yourself.
• You exude more confidence.
• You have a softer, gentler, kinder demeanor.
• You attract more positive people, situations, and experiences in your life.
• Your health improvement brings more energy, better sleep, and life experiences.

For Others

• You are a contribution to others when you show compassion.
• You let them know they are not alone.
• Other people reap the rewards of feeling related, understood, and full of hope.
• Others who are equally kind and compassionate will draw near to you.
• You become a role model for others on how to treat themselves.
• You become a role model for others on how to improve their relationships.
• You create a ripple of compassion, that positively affects many people.

How Being More Compassionate Changes Your Life

Being Compassionate to yourself as a new way of being brings improvement to many areas of your life. When you are compassionate to yourself, you reap the benefits and the rewards. 

Self-Compassion allows you the opportunity to take care of your own needs in being kind and gentle to yourself when you fall short. As humans, we all fall short; sometimes we do not reach our goal, sometimes the actions of others impact us negatively. We make mistakes, forget things, lose our cool, overreact. We are human. Understanding the basic fact, we are human allows us to be kind and compassionate and ask ourselves what we learned from experience.

Being compassionate to ourselves is a better use of energy. Imagine the time and trouble it takes to feed a negative mindset in reaction to a mistake. We can, instead, take time to self-soothe. Self-soothing is shown to have many benefits. We can move forward more quickly rather than ruminating on our mistakes. We can learn and grow and keep moving forward – the real definition of life. 

More importantly, when we show ourselves compassion, we train others to do the same. If we beat ourselves up, we are basically giving others permission to do the same. When we show ourselves compassion, we model how we expect others to treat us, as well. 

The Impact of Compassion on Your Relationships

While we are all interested in changing and improving our lives for the better, what about the impact compassion has on our relationships? Navigating through life means taking responsibility for our actions; however, we are also navigating many relationships within families, work, and socially. 

Showing compassion offers us the opportunity to make a difference in someone else’s life. People need to know we understand and that we are there for them. Loving and supporting others is the catalyst for helping them through the rough patches of life. What is better than being a contributing factor to changing the direction of someone else’s life? Now that is powerful!

When we offer compassion to others, we feel good about ourselves and make a difference to others and the world around us.

It is a win/win situation.